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#1

Shallow Haze

in Düsteres und Trübsinniges 25.10.2007 18:36
von Pog Mo Thon | 569 Beiträge | 569 Punkte
Shallow Haze


As furthest in the future person
you're not surprisingly so bored.
Your presence here is like a curse on
you and me, should be ignored.

But pity us, although your mind
is out of elementary bounds,
your rotten flesh is still behind.
So is your voice. Far more, it sounds

as if its echo through all times
has been the same. We heard it then,
we hear it now. Despite its rhymes
it won’t sound better hearing, when

the time combines our mortal coil
with these perpetuating phrase.
At last we recognize, the soil
we stand upon is shallow haze.
nach oben

#2

RE: Shallow Haze

in Düsteres und Trübsinniges 24.10.2009 19:41
von mcberry • Administrator | 2.503 Beiträge | 2470 Punkte

Late Comment
If to be ignored, why gets the person in question such a fine woven text?
Is the strange influence so disturbing, that an exasperate writer takes notes
against his will? Good for the reader, because the words come over quite
nice, though I do not easily get their meaning.
A nagging voice, echoing through all times, derives from a person maybe
dead already. Because „out of elementary bounds“ the more powerful the
phrases.
I looked up „haze“ to make shure I get a correct translation. I found: smoke,
dust etc. in the air that reduces visibility,
slight confusion or vagueness of mind.
And: punish, humiliate, harass by forcing to do hard and unnecessary work.

The scene transports an idea of guilt, we have no knowledge of, because the
writers past relationship to the voices origin is not revealed to us. Now he
cannot get rid of a ghostly spirits echoing voice. That is probably why the
earth beneath his feet feels dirty (soil) and his grasp of reality but feeble, that
is shallow in his mind.
I can only hope to do the poem justice. I liked it well. mcberry


nach oben

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